Ashes, Ashes, We all Fall Down
by SomeonesAdmirer
Summary: The much anticipated return of the story that brought you so many weird feels. Re-uploaded. ( I am in no way responsible for this writing.) (Rated M for weird stuff. )
1. Ashes, Ashes

Misty had been dead for months. In the beginning Cordelia didn't always act the way she did now. Aside from the random outbursts of tears and withdrawal all the girls thought she was doing exceptionally well with handling the death of her loved one. It wasn't wasn't until three months after Misty had died they found out the strange behavior Cordelia had began.

It was a sunny afternoon when Zoe and the girls thought is would be a great idea to ask Cordelia to go outside to the garden with them. As they approached her bedroom door Zoe and Queenie noticed it was cracked. Peering in both gasped at what they saw.

"Just one more handful." Cordelia whispered as she ate Misty's ashes.

"Oh shit. Cordelia has flown the cuckoo's nest." Queenie whispered.

"Oh god. What do we do?" Zoe questioned.

"We'll come back later, I guess." Queenie said with a frown on her face.

Both girls waited downstairs for over an hour when Cordelia came down on her own accord. They tried to act normal as Cordelia gave them a small smile while walking by, but when they eyed her teeth they saw remains of the ashes.

"Miss Cordelia.. you've got something in your teeth." Zoe said.

Fear flashed onto Cordelia's face. As she turned around to pick at her teeth her eyes started to tear up. She didn't want anyone to know the ugly truth about her. How she secretly was eating her dead lovers ashes just to feel close to her once again. The girls would think she was crazy but it had become a daily ritual for the older woman. As soon as she would wake up she would eat Misty's ashes. Before going to bed at night she would eat the swamp witch's ashes. Sometimes she would even snack on them before lunch. She didn't want to admit she had developed a problem.

"I'm sorry girls. I have no clue what that could have been." Cordelia said looking away.

"Cordelia.. we already know what that was. That was Misty. We saw you eating her ashes early today but we didn't say anything." Zoe said softly.

"Don't be silly girls! I would never do something that crazy!" hissed Cordelia.

"Listen up Miss Supreme. You've got a problem and it needs fixing. Don't make us take her urn away." Queenie said.

"You wouldn't dare!" Cordelia yelled.

"You wanna try me?" Queenie questioned.

With that Cordelia ran up the stairs and back into her room. She grabbed Misty's ashes and ran into her bathroom. She locked the door before the girls could reach her. She opened the urn like the times before and poured a little bit of Misty into her hand.

"I miss you so badly." Cordelia cried while licking Misty off her hand.

"Cordelia! Open this door right now! Don't make us break it down. You won't like what will happen if we have to." Zoe and Queenie both yelled.

At this point Cordelia was eating massive handfuls of Misty's ashes.

"No! Not until the very last handful." mumbled the supreme with ashes falling down her face mixed with saliva.

Queenie wasn't have any of Cordelia's crap. She kicked the door open. Both she and Zoe ran to Cordelia. Queenie grabbed Cordelia while Zoe grabbed the urn with hardly any ashes left. Zoe emptied the remaining ashes into the toilet and flushed.

"No! How could you!?" Cordelia screamed.

Queenie let go of the supreme and watched her as she fell to the floor sobbing while curling into a ball.

"Shhh Miss Cordelia. It's all going to be okay now." Zoe said sitting on the floor wrapping her arms around the older woman.

"I've just got one question." said Queenie. "Did she taste like… chicken?"


	2. We All Fall Down

"Did she taste like chicken?" Cordelia repeated.

"Yes, yes she did." She admitted. Cordelia longed to taste Misty on her lips again.

"I don't want to live on a plant that Misty's ashes aren't in my mouth!" She cried, breaking free from Zoe's grip and storming out of the room. She ran to her office, opening the window. Cordelia peeked out of the window, seeing the outside world. She took one deep breath and stuck her foot out of the window.

"If I can't eat you, Misty." She said with tears in her eyes.

"Then I want to eat the pavement." Cordelia climbed slowly so that she was dangling from the window. She let go. Cordelia fell in slow motion from the window, her blonde hair flowing. She thought about Misty. She thought about Misty's gritty ashes on her teeth. It was a metaphor.

Cordelia smiled at remembering Misty's taste on her lips. She cried then because she wasn't going to be able to taste Misty anymore. She thought about the toilet. She hit the cold hard pavement, dying quickly. Cordelia didn't know that she landed on someone when she jumped. She landed on a blonde white girl. It was Misty. Misty had resurrected herself and was on her way to come kiss Cordelia, when she fell and Cordelia killed them both.


	3. Pocket Full of Posies

The next day Zoe and Queenie woke up with heavy hearts. They had pushed Cordelia too far. They never should have poured Misty's ashes down the toilet. If only they would have known Misty had resurrected herself and was coming back. Surely Cordelia would have stopped eating the ashes if she would have known, right? Both girls made their way to the kitchen. They had slept in and it was around lunchtime.

"Hey Zoe, what do you want for lunch?" Queenie ask.

"I don't feel very hungry.. but what all do we have?" Zoe said in her very monotone voice.

Searching in the fridge Queenie gasped when her eyes landed on a certain food. Chicken. She couldn't deal. She closed the door to the fridge.

"Never mind." mumbled Queenie. "I guess we should start planning for the funeral, huh?"

"I'm not even sure if Cordelia let how any instruction on how her funeral should go." said Zoe. "I guess we'll need to go look her office."

After making the trek up the stairs and into the late supreme's office the girls started to search the file cabinets. After three had been checked they finally found what they had been looking for. The supreme's funeral plans. The papers stated she was to be buried in her garden. She wanted to be buried in the place she loved most.

"I can't believe she's really gone.. I guess will can go ahead and bury Misty beside her." said Zoe.

Later that night all the girls in the Coven gathered in the garden as the funeral for Cordelia and Misty commenced. Each girl put a posie on the caskets of the two fallen witches. Little did they know what was about to happen next.


	4. Ring Around The Rosie

In the pit of Zoe's stomach she felt something weird. She smiled thinking it was just the Franken-baby Kyle had put in her, but when she sneezed and a rosey red color poured from her murder vagina she knew something was wrong.

"Queenie I need a spoon!" She demanded.

Queenie freaked out, "What the fuck bitch, your cooch is a shade of crimson the fuck you mean you need a spoon?"

Zoe cried red tears. "I'm the new leader of this coven and I have a bleeding red bun in the oven, Queenie I need a spoon!"

Queenie thought Zoe was a crazy bitch. She ran inside, her ass slamming against the doorway. She grabbed Three silver spoons.

"Here, Zoe." Queenie said, throwing the spoons at Zoe's face. Zoe deflected them and they all went flying into Queenie's mouth. Queenie died. Zoe cried alot and her tears were still red.

Zoe took the spoons out of Queenie's pie hole and stuck them in her vagina. Zoe forgot that she has the murder vagina, so then she died. All the dying made Misty come back to life because she had already planned her way to come back this time.

Misty stood up, looking around and seeing these dead witch bitches.

"Holy Shit." Misty said, bending over Cordelia.

"Miss Cordelia! What happened to ya?" She asked. Misty closed her eyes and did Cordelia with her hands. Cordelia woke up from the dead, more fully realized.

"Misty." Cordelia said. "Where are the girls?" She asked.

Misty did that lip thing that she always does and said, "Look around you, Delia. Their deader than a squirrel in the road." Misty chuckled to herself but then quickly made her face serious when she realized her joke wasn't funny.

Cordelia blinked.

Misty smiled again.

Cordelia smiled back.

Misty fucked Cordelia with her eyes.

Cordelia didn't use protection.

Cordelia was blind again.

"Agh my eyes!" Cordelia screamed.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Miss Cordelia!" Misty screamed.

Cordelia cried into her hands.

Misty wrapped her arms around Cordelia.

"Am very sorry!" Misty screamed.

"Some of us are blind!" Cordelia cried.

"YEAH! JUST A LITTLE BIT!" Misty screamed.

Cordelia giggled.

"Misty you're going to have to be my eyes." Cordelia said.

"Mmkay." Misty said.

"I need to touch you." Cordelia reminded.

"Oh." Misty said. "Oh."

Misty took off her shawl and wrapped it around Cordelia's eyes.

"Your eye fuck wounds are hard to look at." Misty said, making Cordelia stand.

"Let's go fuck on the greenhouse floor." Misty suggested.

"Okay." Cordelia replied.


	5. Pocket Full of Dicks

Misty woke up on the greenhouse floor the next morning. She stretched and looked over to Delia only to scream in fear.

"WHAT! WHAT IS IT!" yelled Cordelia waking from her sleep rushing to find and put her cloths on.

"YOUR EYE FUCKING WOUNDS. WHEN DID THE SHAWL COME OFF?"

"I'VE GOT NO CLUE! DOES IT REALLY LOOK THAT BAD?"

"Yes." Misty stated.

"Well these wounds aren't my fault Misty." said Cordelia palming the floor to find the shawl. "I remember correctly you did this to me."

"Two can play at this game Delia. You were the one who jumped outta window and smashed me against the pavement!" said Misty finding and picking up the shawl.

"LISTEN! Can we just stop fighting already?! You were gone for months. You don't know what I've been through since you died." said Cordelia in a hushed voice.

With this Misty went over to Cordelia and wrapped the shawl back over her eye wounds. Next she helped her up and guided the woman out of  
the greenhouse. Once outside Misty saw the dead bodies of Zoe and Queenie.

"Crazy bitches. Why would Zoe need a spoon for her baby anyways, and why'd Queenie try to eat spoons?!" Misty said while shaking her head.

Misty let go of Cordelia and made her way to the girls to bring them back to life. She chanted a few words and brought Queenie back first. As she was chanting to bring Zoe back she realized something. It wasn't a Franken-baby Zoe was having.. it was the anti-christ.


	6. Satan's kiss

"No no no no…this can't be." Misty whispered.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't wanna bring Zoe back." Misty said.

"What. Say what? What. Why?" Cordelia asked.

"Her lil sack of baby is the cherub carryin' tha end of times, Delia!" Misty said.

"Please rephrase that." Cordelia requested.

"She is pregnant as shit and it's not just Kyle's…it's Satan's." Misty informed Cordelia.

Cordelia screamed like she screamed when she stabbed her eyes.

"Shh shhh No baby it's okay, the bitch can stay dead." Misty said wisefully.

"These girls…it's my job to protect them." Cordelia said.

"You tryna end the World, Delia?" Misty asked.

"If I bring this baby back we all gone die, everyone, everythin' you know is gonna be gone. You want that, Delia? You want erryone to die?" Misty was speaking firmly now.

"No." Cordelia said simply.

Queenie watched as Misty hopped on Cordelia's shoulders and ran out of the room.

"Bitches." Queenie muttered. "If they won't bring you back, Zoe, then I will." She said under her breath.

Queenie bent over Zoe and breathed in her ear.

"Vitalum vitalis." She whispered, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "Vitalum vitalis." She repeated.

Zoe shot up gasping for air.

"I saw the darkness." She said. "The Darkness has a bick black dick! I think I'm gay." Zoe said.

Queenie slapped Zoe for being a rascist. Zoe coughed once.

"I'm sorry, that was the Devil. Please leave a message." Zoe said.

Queenie slapped Zoe again.

Zoe sneezed and a red baby shot out. The baby hit the wall and turned into Madison.

"Supressa Puta. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me." Madison said.

Madison stood before the girls naked with bright red horns.

Zoe smiled. If felt good having her shoot out her killer vagina and this wasn't the first time she'd seen Madison naked.

"A little weirded out that I just came out of the murder vagina." Madison admitted.

Upstairs Cordelia and Misty were at it again. Misty was doing Cordelia with her hands.

"Swamp biiiitch." Madison said as she walked up the stairs.

"Whose there?" Misty asked between Cordelia's legs.

"Is that Madison?" Cordelia asked.

"Think so." Misty said.

Madison walked into the bedroom.

"I knew you were into girls, Cordelia." Madison said. "Buy swampy, really?" Madison asked.

Madison used her magic and threw Misty against the wall.

"I still have to get you back for last time, Misty." Madison said, she grabbed at Misty's ass and then slit her throat. Misty grabbed her throat, gagging and cackling blood.

"You Bitch." Misty said and fell to the floor.

Madison looked at Cordelia and smiled. She bent down and kissed Misty once on the lips. Madison looked back at Cordelia.

"Tastes like Chicken." Madison said.


	7. Chicken Lips

Madison looked at Cordelia and smiled. She bent down and kissed Misty once on the lips. Madison looked back at Cordelia.

"Tastes like Chicken." Madison said.

By this point sex with Misty had restored her sight and she couldn't believe what she had just seen. Cordelia was furious. She ran right up to Madison and grabbed her face.

"The chicken is mine." she stated firmly biting and ripping Madison's lips off of her face.

As Cordelia chewed on Madison's lips she had one thought, 'chewy.. just like a chicken.'

Madison screamed in pain and Cordelia knocked her out cold.

Cordelia walked over to Misty who had died from shock.

"Vitalum vitalis." the supreme chanted into Misty's ear.

Finally, after a few chants Misty came back to life. She saw Madison laying on the floor.

"Whatta crazy bitch!" she exclaimed.

As she walked over to the girl she noticed her lips.

"Holy shit Delia.. what have ya done?"

"I did what had to be done. I ate her chickenly lips." the supreme said with blood dripping down her face.

"Miss… Miss Delia I think ya gotta problem."

"How dare you say that! That is the same sentence that started all of this! I ate her lips for you Misty. I did it all for you. I had to get your chickeny goodness off of those devil lips. I did what needed to be done." Cordelia whimpered.

"You aren't the same Delia I use to know."

"You're right Misty. You really don't know me anymore."

With this Cordelia turned to Madison body. The girl was still pasted out. She walked over to Madison and extended her mouth. She opened it so wide her mouth dropped down to the floor. Cordelia slowly started sucking in air with the goal of swallowing Madison's body whole.

"She will be inside me." mumbled Cordelia.

Misty watched in horror as Cordelia tried to inhale Madison's body. Misty's eyes widened and she shot a pink laser, throwing herself back into the wall. Misty hit her head against the wall several times.


	8. Misty Bo Bisty

"PUNISH ME SISTER!" She screamed.

"I'M SO WEAK AND STUPID!" Misty continued to scream. "STUPID STUPID STUPID."

Misty had hit her head against the walls so many times she fell to the floor and passed out, blood all over herself and her shawl.

Cordelia didn't notice, she was too busy tonguing Madison's face trying to inhale her. Cordelia was unsuccessful. She turned around and saw that her lover was knocked out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?" She asked herself. "MY GOD ARE WE ALL INSANE?" She yelled.

Zoe and Queenie came running up the stairs. They opened the door and saw that Cordelia was covered in blood. They saw Madison's lipless face asleep, and they saw Misty's blonde curls covered in blood, a big hole in the wall.

"Miss Cordelia what is going on?" Zoe said. "Why are we all doing this?" She asked.

Queenie clawed at her eyes.

"WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN." Queenie said. "CANNOT BE UNSEEN." Queenie clawed at her eyes and fell to the floor. She was asleep.

Zoe looked at Queenie, and then at Cordelia. Cordelia looked at Zoe, and then she looked at Misty. Misty woke up, she looked at Cordelia and then Queenie. Queenie didn't move. Misty looked at Cordelia. Cordelia looked at Misty. Misty raised an eyebrow. Cordelia smiled.

"For God's sake, you two!" Zoe said.

Cordelia looked at Zoe.

Misty looked at Zoe, and then she looked at Cordelia.

Cordelia looked at Misty.

Misty stood up, readjusting herself. Cordelia watched Misty.

"Cut it out!" Zoe said.

Misty rubbed her body making weird faces. Cordelia watched, biting her lip. Cordelia watched closely as Misty touched her clothed body. Misty smiled and looked seductively at Cordelia. Cordelia smiled.

Misty looked at Zoe and said, "Do you mind?" She asked.

"Both of you skanks, cut it out!" Zoe demanded.

Misty frowned and did a little pout like she did in that one episode. Cordelia watched Misty with hungry eyes. Zoe looked back and forth between Misty and Cordelia.

"And I will go down with this ship." She whispered.

Cordelia looked at Zoe.

Misty looked at Zoe.

"Sorry." Zoe said.

"I'm not gay." Misty said.

Both of the girls looked at Misty.

Cordelia made a face.

Queenie woke up and said, "Yeah right." Queenie went back to sleep.

Zoe grabbed Queenie by the ankles and dragged her out of the room. Zoe fell down the stairs.

Now that the girls were alone, Misty closed the door with her mind and pushed Cordelia onto the bed. Misty nibbled at Cordelia's ear. "Yo're mine now." Misty said.

Cordelia looked up at Misty with a look of horror.

"But you said you weren't gay." Cordelia said.

"I didn't say that with much conviction, Monsignor." Misty said.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"Nothing." Misty said. "I went to hell, met a lady. She taught me how to talk sexy. I was trying that out on you. Sorry." Misty said.


	9. 420 blaze, blaze, blaze

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"She didn't teach you very well." the older woman said.

"But Miss-"

"Nope. I don't want to hear it Misty."

Misty got mad. All the hard work she had done in hell seemed like nothing to Cordelia. She felt her eyes heat up. She saw pink. She was so worked up the pink lasers shot out of her eyes again hitting Cordelia in the vagina.

"WHAT THE FUCK MISTY!" the supreme yelled.

The pain was unbearable.

"Oh my god I'm sorry Miss Cordelia. I didn't mean to-"

"Fuck Misty. Your lasers hit me so hard I'm bleeding." Cordelia interrupted.

Terror flashed onto Misty's face as she looked at the pants the woman was wearing. Sure enough blood slowly started showing.

"Pretty sure you just laser eye shot me into my next period." Cordelia said with a frown.

"I'm sorry I keep hurting ya with my eyes. I think a gotta shawl or two for ya to use." Misty said.

"Um, excuse me?"

"Ya know… to stop the bleeding. At my swamp I always had to use my shawls!"

"Misty, no. We don't do that here for goodness sake." Cordelia said in disgust while she shuddered.

"Well what can I do for ya then?" Misty asked.

"How about you keep those eyes away from me for awhile and go get me some pain medicine?"

"Pain medicine?"

"You know the stuff in pill box?"

"Oh! I gotcha. I just used the herbs at my swamp. 4/20 blaze, blaze, blaze." Misty said smiling.

Misty walked out of the room to go get the medicine.

"4/20 blaze, blaze, blaze? What the heck?" Cordelia said to herself.

Moments later Misty walked back into the room with Cordelia's medicine. She remained quite as the woman took it.

"I'm still sorry about the whole eye thing Cordelia."

"It'll be okay Misty. I think we can find a spell to stop those lasers."


	10. I feel like Jesus

"But Miss Cordelia what if I don't want 'em to stop?" Misty asked.

Cordelia glared at Misty.

"What do you mean?" She asked, slightly worried.

"I have never felt so powerful! Never have I ever been able to do anythin' to anyone without havin' ta control someone else, or a gator, or somethin'." Misty said, clearly excited for all of the wrong reasons.

"Misty-" Cordelia said.

"I feel like Jesus!" Misty declared, jumping onto the bed.

"MISTY!" Cordelia said, slightly angered now.

"What?" Misty asked. "What, Miss Cordelia?"

"For God's sake Misty just call me Cordelia, do you know how annoying it gets when the writers have to keep writing the same damn name over and over?" Cordelia said.

"The What-The Who now?" Misty asked.

"Christ, Misty." Cordelia said, defeated.

"Delia!" Misty hollered.

"WHAT?" She shot back.

"DELIA YOUR EYES!" Misty countered.

"What about them?" Cordelia asked, returning to her state of grace.

"They're black!" Misty said.

"That's racist, Misty." Cordelia said.

"But I'm black?" Misty said.

"No, you aren't." Cordelia said.

"4/20 blaze, blaze, blaze!" Misty said, rolling her tongue like the hispanics do.

"That's not even politically correct." Cordelia said.

Misty took off her boots and threw them at the wall.

"I'ma boss ass bitch bitch bitch." She sung.

"Misty, I'm the supreme." Cordelia reminded.

"Bitch bitch bitch," Misty continued.

"Christ, you're acting like a child, Misty." Cordelia said.

"An' you're mad because you can't have 'em?" Misty asked.


	11. My Strange Addiction

"Christ, you're acting like a child, Misty." Cordelia said.

"An' you're mad because you can't have 'em?" Misty asked.

"You bitch." Cordelia hissed.

With this Cordelia ran over to the bedside table opening the drawer. This was the drawer she kept her gun in. Taking it out and point it at Misty.

"I'm going to shoot you like that crazy bitch Nora from season two shot herself."

"Delia! Put that gun down and who, what?"

"Nora, crazy bitch who wanted a baby. Season two. Don't tell me what to do either. You aren't my mother Misty."

Cordelia went to shoot the gun.

Misty shot her pink eye lasers at Cordelia's hands knocking the gun out. Before turning her eye lasers off she glanced at Cordelia's boobs popping one.

"MISTY! THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT." Cordelia yelled.

"Ya were gonna shoot me! What did ya expect me to do?"

"Not pop one of my tits!"

"Cordelia just calm down. I saw an episode of My Strange Addiction where a girl was addicted to her glow in the dark implants. Lets just go get ya some of 'em." Misty said.

"Misty, NO! I refuse to get glow in the dark implants because you popped my tit with your lasers. How would that sound to a doctor?!" Cordelia questioned.

"Ya don't gotta tell 'em that I popped your tit with my lasers. Just tell 'em ya fell or something."

"Ugh, no Misty. That's just too weird for me."

"Well it isn't as weird as eating ashes. I saw an episode where a girl did that too. I mean that is just so gross. Why would any one do that? Better yet why would anyone even write about it?" Misty asked.

Cordelia froze.


	12. Are you kidding me?

"Well it isn't as weird as eating ashes. I saw an episode where a girl did that too. I mean that is just so gross. Why would any one do that? Better yet why would anyone even write about it?" Misty asked.

Cordelia froze.

"What did you say?" Cordelia asked.

"Eating ashes is weird shit, why would anyone wanna wr-" Misty began.

Cordelia dropped the gun and ran to Misty, pinning her up against the wall.

"Listen here! Don't you dare try to tell me what's weird, you use shawls as tampons for fuck's sake!" Cordelia said angrily.

"Delia what in the Hell is your-" Misty said in horror, her face like she didn't give a shit.

"Shut up swamp bitch, I'm not done!" Cordelia said.

"What did you call me?" Misty asked.

Cordelia stepped back, releasing her grip on Misty.

"I-I'm sorry?" Cordelia said, unsure of herself.

"Delia..." Misty said with tears in her eyes.

"No-F-fuck you, Misty! You know why I snapped?" Cordelia asked.

"Wh-Why?" Misty asked.

"Because when you died-when you turned to ash in my arms I was reckless-hopeless, I d-didn't know what to do. That episode of My Strange Addiction? Yeah, I saw that too. I saw how for a moment that woman was happy. I-I ate your ashes too, Misty." Cordelia said, sobbing. She fell to the floor, her head in her hands. "Misty-" She cried.

"Christ, Delia..." Misty said, stepping over to Cordelia, resting her hands on the woman's back.

"Don't touch me! I'm gross." Cordelia said, crying.

"Miss Cordelia..." Misty said.

Cordelia looked up from her tears and quickly turned around and slapped Misty in the face.

Misty wasn't having that.

"Dammit Cordelia!" Misty said, taking Cordelia by the arm and throwing her onto the bed. Misty held Cordelia down by her arms, attempting to subdue her bizarre behavior. Cordelia went from sad to angry, quickly flopping around trying to writhe from beneath the swamp witch.

"Delia, my dad was a Marine, you ain't about to get over on me," Misty reminded. "Stay put, you."

"No! Fuck you!" Cordelia said.

Misty held Cordelia down harder.

Cordelia spat at Misty.

"What's wrong with you, Delia?" Misty asked.

"Raghhh!" Cordelia said, still trying to get out from beneath Misty.

"I said stay put!" Misty said, practically growling. She pushed Cordelia's hands to above her head, making it harder for her to move.

"I don't wanna hold you down like this but you're acting a damn fool." Misty said.

Cordelia began to cry again.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Misty." She cried. "I just want to be normal."

Misty pursed her lips, she had some sympathy for Cordelia, loving and missing the old headmistress she had once known. Misty losened her grip on Cordelia's arms, and Cordelia quickly broke free. She threw Misty back away from her, running out of the door.

"Get back here you bitch!" Misty demanded.


	13. DrPopper

Cordelia ran and ran. She ran all the way to the hospital. She needed to get her tit fixed. It was all floppy and unpleasant. Misty wasn't helping the situation by being a bitch. After making it into the hospital she approached a woman at the front desk.

"Hello Miss. I've got a small problem." Cordelia said.

"Yeah well so does everyon-" The woman stopped when she noticed Cordelia's popped boob.

"Um well I've got a popped boob that needs fixing, so can I see a doctor?"

"Yes, right away. I'm so sorry." The woman said while taking Cordelia back to a room for her to wait for a doctor.

Once back in the room Cordelia wondered what the doctor could do for her poor left boob. That boob was her favorite boob. The best boob. That one boob. That one boob she got pierced while drunk one night and now that poor boob was just a floppy flippy sag of a boob. She was startled when the doctor walked into the room.

"Hello. I'll be your doctor for today. I was told you have a problem with.. with a boob?"

"Yes. The problem is my boob. It has been popped." Cordelia said in annoyance.

"Well, how did this happen if you don't mind me asking? I've never had to deal with a popped boob."

"I fell. The impact popped it."

"Do you have implants or?" The doctor asked.

"No, but I was thinking of getting them to fix this I guess." Cordelia said frowning. Misty did say she wanted her to get them.

"Well I can see what we can do! Let me go check our stock!" The doctor said leaving Cordelia in the room alone yet again.

The doctor came back moments later with an uncertain look on his face.

"Miss I have bad news :( We are out of implants, even the glow in the dark ones. I can't just let you leave without treating you though. So I have decided the second past approach."

"And what would that be doctor?" Cordelia asked.

"We will stuff toilet paper inside." The doctor said with a triumphant smile.


	14. It feels like Mashed Potatoes

Cordelia nodded as the doctor before her told her that toilet paper was the last option. She remembered her memories of toilets. Misty's first ashes went into the toilet. Maybe her toilet paper tit would make Misty love her again.

"I'll do it, Doctor." Cordelia said. "I want the toilet paper tit." She said.

"Very well then, Rebecca?" The Doctor called for the nurse. "Bring me the toilet paper."

A little white lady brought several rolls of toilet paper in to the room.

"Now, this is going to hurt...alot." The Doctor said.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

The Doctor swiftly pelted Cordelia with toilet paper and she fell asleep.

"Let's begin." The Doctor said.

When Cordelia woke up she had a very sore boob.

Cordelia looked down.

"My Boobs..." She said.

"They feel like mashed potatoes."

Cordelia stood from the bed and quickly grabbed her belongings.

Cordelia left the Doctor's office and went back to the Academy.

She scurryed up the stairs, back into her bedroom. Misty was asleep on the bed.

"Misty?" Cordelia asked.

Misty was clearly asleep. Cordelia decided to climb into bed with her. Cordelia climbed into bed, wrapping her arms around the swamp witch.

"Delia?" Misty asked.

"Hmm?" Cordelia asked.

"Delia where did you go?" She asked.

"Nowhere, baby, go back to sleep." Cordelia said.

Misty turned around to sleepily meet Cordelia's gaze.

"Your boob..." Misty said.

Misty placed one hand on the boob.

"It feels like mashed potatoes." Misty said.

"Yes." Cordelia said.

"Your good boob feels like mashed potatoes." Misty repeated.

"Yes Misty, I know." Cordelia said.

"Your good boob." Misty said, sadly.

"I know the one." Cordelia said.

"I'm going to miss that boob." Misty said.

Cordelia remained silent.

Misty pursed her lips.

"I'm sorry, Miss Cordelia." Misty said.

"It's quite alright, Misty." Cordelia said.

"No it isn't." Misty said as she got out of bed.

"Misty-Where are you-" Cordelia asked.

"Delia I want you to break my boob." Misty said.

"Misty, I-" Cordelia said. "I can't."

"Why?" Misty asked.

"Because you hardly have any boobs at all." Cordelia said.

The writer of the story got offended by Cordelia's words because she is built like Misty Day. The writer popped Cordelia's boob again.

"Dammit!" Cordelia yelled.

"What in the Hell?" Misty asked.

The writer realized she is not adding to the story so she has decided to make Cordelia's boob as good as new.

"My boob?" Cordelia asked.

"The good boob is back." Misty said, and pursed her lips once again.

The good boob smiled.

"You know it, baby cakes." The boob said.


	15. Lavender Oil Day

"Holy shit." Misty said with a surprised look.

"Misty.. did my boob just talk?" Cordelia asked in fright.

"That isn't the only thing I will do." The boob said.

With this the boob sprouted legs and jumped off Cordelia's chest. Not only did it grow legs but arms as well. It slowly grew into what looked like a 12 year old scene girl.

"I fooled you all along Mom." The boob girl said.

"I am not mom.. I am woman missing boob."

"No Mom. This is what you wanted. I am your child. The toilet paper changed me." Boob girl said.

"But you were such a good boob. What do you even call that hair do?" Cordelia asked in annoyance.

"It's called teased hair. All the cool kids at school are doing it."

"You were a boob a few moments ago.. You have never gone to school. You're crazy." Cordelia said.

"GOD MOM! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME!" Boob girl cried as she ran up the stairs.

"Hey! Don't talk to ya mom like that!" Misty exclaimed before the girl made it to her room slamming the door.

"Misty, you do realize this is crazy.. right? She is a boob child."

"Cordelia don't question it. Just go with the flow. We have a child now. We should be grateful. What are we gonna name her?" Misty asked.

"We aren't going to name her anything for goodness sake!"

"I like the name Nutella. Let's name her Nutella!"

"NO! Nutella is a chocolate spread Misty. If you're going to name the boob name her something decent at lest.. like Lavender Oil Day." Cordelia suggested.

"Lavender Oil Day. I LOVE IT!" Misty exclaimed.

"Alright go call our daughter down hear so we can have a talk to her."

"Lavender Oil get your ass down here right now! Stop teasing your hair, taking selfies while your crying, and talk to us." Misty yelled.


	16. Your skin is greasy

Lavender Oil Day slowly came out of her room, tons of eyeliner smeared all over her wet eys.

"What Mom?" Lavendr askd. "Can't you see I have been crying?"

"Girl Stop that nonsense," Misty said. "You respect yer Mama, you hear?" Misty asked.

"Yes, Mom." Lavendry said.

Suddenly Lavender grew up. She was now 18.

"I love you, Mom, Mama." Lavender said. "I'm off to medical school! You're welcome for the new boob, Mom." Lavender said.

Cordelia looked down, she saw that her boob had been replaced.

"What the Hell?" Cordelia asked.

Lavender dissapeared, had she walked out of the door?

"They grow up so fast," Misty said with a tear in her eye.

"Misty, tell me you see how weird this is?" Cordelia asked.

"What? Our baby is all grown up." Misty said.

"My Boob just aged in front of us, replaced my boob, and left." Cordelia said.

"Yes, and what's your point?" Misty asked.

"I just think that's a little weird is all." Cordelia said.

"Are you sayin' you wanna hav another?" Misty asked, a devilish grin on her face, she grabbed Cordelia by the waist and nibbled on her ear.

"Misty-" Cordelia said.

"Hmm?" Misty whispered into the shell of Cordelia's ear. "Just you-" She nibbled some more. "Say the word and it's yours baby doll." She whispered.

Cordelia couldn't even right now.

"I can't even-" Cordelia said.

"That's odd." Misty said.

No one laughed except Misty.

Cordelia bit her lower lip.

"Hey Mist?" She asked.

"Whatchu want, love?"Misty asked.

"Can you-" Cordelia began.

"Do you with my hands?" Misty asked. "I'd love to."

Misty threw Cordelia on the bed, careful not to break either of her new boobs that her boob daughter had given to her. Misty straddled the older witch.

"Hey Mist?" Cordelia asked.

"Yeah?" Misty replied, biting down on her lower lip.

"Why are you so greasy?" Cordelia asked.

"Why am I what?" Misty asked.

"Your skin is greasy." Cordelia said.

"For Christ's sake, Delia, I lived in a swamp for months and you're askin' me why my skin care regime is sub par?" Misty asked, climbing off of the woman and falling onto the bed beside her.

"Well I mean, I just-" Cordelia said.

"You really are a mood killer, Delia." Misty said.


End file.
